“Old bits and Soggy Chips……”
I arose early the next morning.
I packed enough things for the day and set off.
I didn’t want to see anyone.
So much for telling the truth!
If I had just lied about my feelings for ‘X’ and said I didn’t have feelings for him, would any of this be happening????
The beach was magnificent, a haven for my aching soul.
The sky was vast and blue, filled with the distinctive call of the gull.
The wind blew ever-so slightly – caressing me softly – reassuring me everything would be alright.
I wanted to go to the furthest part of the beach and sit amongst the rocks, dangle my legs in the soothing lap of the wave.
It was like getting a big hug from the Universe.
Maslin Beach is the only nudist beach in South Australia.
I’ve got to be honest.
I was in a mood such that even if Michael Hutchence, Bono and Bernard all stood in front of me naked, with a wave of my hand, I would send them on their way.
I was not in the mood for nudity of any kind today, particularly mens.
Quite frankly I felt like chopping each and every one of them off and feeding them to the hungry gulls.
They were that old and shrivelled up they didn’t look unlike a soggy chip!
I sat quietly on the rocks and I don’t know why, but a parade of men just kept coming my way – in all their glory.
“Beautiful day isn’t it?” they’d say.
Really?? You have a whole goddam beach.
Why here, why now?
I don’t want you or your manly bits in my face right now. I just want to be by myself so I can cry and ponder my future.
I’d smile graciously, trying my hardest not to drop my gaze down south.
I sat for a couple of hours,
and then a couple more.
I started my way back.
Later that afternoon everyone went down the road to visit family but I stayed home.
My holiday ruined and not only by stupid naked people!
I wrote a scathing note and just said,
“Hoffman. Do it!”