“Things always happen for a reason…….”
Always.
Whether you perceive situations to be good or bad in the end is irrelevant.
It simply is.
What we ‘do’ and how we ‘perceive’ that situation is up to us.
It’s a choice. Simple. And once we realise this the healing can begin.
Jemima’s depression sent me into a downward spiral. I felt helpless and hopeless. Was it my fault? Was I such a bad mother to cause my daughter to suffer in this way?
Was it my fault?????
We always question everything. It’s human nature. (Or is it just a learned behaviour?)
Whatever it was, I was questioning it, and all the time. I was in a panic. A complete panic!
In November of 2012 we moved into an awesome new house. A three story bungalow tucked away in leafy Bukit Timah. Secluded, quiet and private. Just as we liked it. It had a large in ground pool, perfect for those too hot days……each and every day! It had a bedroom for everyone. It had a huge yard with a rambutan shading the pool, its plentiful fruit giving us a sweet summer treat straight from Mother Nature. It was amazing.
We hadn’t shown the kids on purpose, they all wanted to be surprised.
As we drove up the long driveway and got out of the car everyone was beside-them-selves excited.
All but one.
As we sat on our whicker chairs admiring our new surroundings I just got that sinking feeling. Something wasn’t quite right. Jemima had simply said, “Which room’s mine?”. No smile, no feeling, no expression.
I looked at Jules and said, “I think she has depression. Could you please go upstairs and see if she’s ok?”
He came down and said “She’s locked herself in the bathroom. I can’t get in”.
I took the long walk up three flights of stairs, my blood cold, my heart thumping.
I eventually got her to open the door.
She was distraught.
Huddled in a ball in the corner of the bathroom bawling her eyes out.
I simply held her and said, “I think you have depression darling. I have had it and you will get through it. We will get through this. Together”