SoulSutras 14a

“Stop Crying Your Heart Out…………”

All of our children love music and no more so than Rem.

So as we were making our way to Changi for my flight to Adelaide, Rem bought his speaker and cranked up the volume to Oasis.

It’s cute listening to what your children like.

At the moment it’s Mac de Marco, Macklemore, Tash Sultana, High Flying Birds and Oasis, coupled with some other stuff I don’t resonate with so much.

As we made our way down the Pan Island Expressway, my stomach dropped.

This was real.

This was really happening.

In less than six weeks I would be making my way down to Changi to leave this beautiful city I have called home for over seven years.

Now, at that very moment, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to leave.

Maybe I was just being brave, trying to hold things together for the family, for my husband, reassuring everyone everything was going to be ok.

That’s what mum’s and wives do isn’t it???

They show strength and courage, pick everyone up when they are feeling down, give them a hug, hold them tight, kiss them on the forehead and tell them everything’s going to be alright.

And it is.

I know that.

But as I was driving down today and the Gallagher brothers were blaring from the speaker I just really wanted to cry my heart out, but I didn’t because I knew if I started it would well and truly be the end, I wouldn’t stop until I got to Adelaide airport.

So many things came flooding back.

Happy times, sad times and devastating times; wild adventures, teenage parties, and crazy weekends away; Brix, BBQ’s and brunches; tears, laughter and love; cousins, family and friends.

I saw each and every one of them, so very clearly, flash before my eyes.

Such wonderful memories, such gloriously happy times and now I was going, leaving all those I loved behind.

I made it to the airport without shedding a tear, my heart breaking just a little.

As I handed my passport to the clerk, that sinking feeling returned.

Not long now.

Then I got a tap on the shoulder, “Ma’am, could you please come with me”

Oh finally it’s happening, they want to put me in Business class!!!!!

“Ma’am, your Greencard has expired”

“Yes” I said.

“Well, you are actually staying in Singapore illegally, where is your long term visitors pass???”

Jules and I had been to MOM, we had changed the boys passes and thought we had been told it would be ok for us to just come in and out until we left.

So here I was, all of a sudden, a stranger in a strange land.

No longer a resident, but an illegal immigrant!!

No business class, but maybe a rough night in Changi prison.

What was going on?

I diligently answered their questions, feigning ignorance and smiling courteously just in case that helped.

“You will be fined, $100”

I handed over my DBS card and they just looked at me and said, “Cash only”.

I looked at my wallet and had exactly 68 Sing dollars and not enough coins to scrape together the remaining 32.

I looked at them, then at Jules behind the glass who was wondering what the hell was going on, before they escorted me back out through immigration so I could ask my husband whether he had a hundred dollars.

I actually thought he was going to cry.

I had finally made it through, went and changed some SGD for Aussie and quickly ran to the bottle shop to buy some Bombay Sapphire for my mum and sister.

“Can I take two bottles back to Australia”

“Which flight are you on ma’am?”

“SQ 279 to Adelaide”, I replied smiling.

She just looked at me, smiled sweetly and said,

“Oh, I’m sorry the gate is closed”

I just looked at her wide-eyed, thinking “Please God this cannot be happening!”

“Just duty free ma’am, you can still catch your flight”

I just looked at her and secretly wanted to cry my heart out.

D10 was at the arse end of the airport, so I took the travelator to get there as quickly as I could.

I finally arrived, the last of the weary travellers checking in.

“Scarf off please ma’am”

Through the scanner I went.

“Shoes off ma’am, please go through the scanner again”

Shoes off, scarf off, try again.

“ Watch. Watch off ma’am, please go back through”

What next? Shirt, jeans, undies????

No, third time lucky.

I got through, picked up my bag, laptop, scarf, shoes and watch.

Then my phone pinged.

I picked it up and saw a message from our son Orlando,

“Mum, I just saw Angel number 222, what does that mean?”

“It means trust and faith Lando, trust and faith”

and I sent him the photo I had taken moments before as I was rushing down the travelator to catch my flight as I too had just seen Angel number 22:22.

I no longer wanted to cry my heart out, as right at that very moment I knew spirit was giving me a big hug, holding me tight, kissing me on the forehead and telling me everything was going to be alright.

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