Some months passed and talk of King Silas was still on everyone’s lips. Inanna found she couldn’t go anywhere without someone mentioning him.
She found this exasperating, because even at the slightest mention of his name, something stirred inside her.
She couldn’t quite pinpoint it – it was like excitement mixed with terror.
She wanted him desperately but at the same time wanted to run away as far as she could.
Inanna busied herself, tending to her garden, healing the sick and herself, when one day out of the blue, she was called to the castle.
Her stomach dropped.
Her feelings were so strong she felt as though everyone else could feel them too.
Would she bump into him and if she did what would she do?
She felt sick.
Lilith could sense her trepidation
“What’s troubling you Inanna dear?”
“It’s Silas, Lilith. I have been unable to stop thinking about him since that meeting in the square. Never before has anyone evoked such a reaction in my being – my essence. It frightens me, makes me nervous.”
“Stay centred Inanna, connected to your truth. Remember your essence and stand there, in that space – that space of wisdom and knowing, where there is no fear, just pure consciousness – pure love. You know it Inanna. Let’s spend a moment connecting to that space. You’ll be fine. You may not even see him.”
“It’s best not to think about the outcome Inanna, stay present, worrying about what could be will only keep you in fear. Everything happens for a reason dear. The palace calls. Off you go”
She packed her healing bag, as she assumed that is why she had been called and made her way to the castle.
It was nearing dark and the road was quiet.
She thought about the guidance Lilith had given her but try as she might, Silas rattled her.
She was a mess and had no idea why.
Her experience of love was varied.
With Eamon, it was as natural as the wind. She felt open, confident and uninhibited.
With Beircheart it was unnatural. She felt exposed, violated and dirty.
With Silas, it was different again.
She felt so strongly for him, but was terrified at the same time.
She was still in love with Eamon and wondered if it were possible to love another at the same time. It was confusing and frustrating and made her feel awkward and uneasy.
She was soon at the castle gates.
“Inanna Florence Sir” she stated, for the second time. The guard was as a gruff as he was the first.
“Aaah, yes, the king’s horse. Show her the way Master Mitchell”.
Inanna’s stomach dropped for the second time that day.